Definitely Unexpected / 3073.09.24

[summerrain]

Picosith turned to the elder dragon. Ya know... You're right, she said, her mind relinquishing the unfavorable path of thought with ease. TeraMine and I still have much to learn about each other. There isn't need to worry. The dragonet lost her train of thought when a brilliantly colored insect fluttered past. Her eyes caught on the color, but the creature was too small for her eyes to see clearly. She sighed quietly, but wasn't too disapointed. Tera laughed at the dragonet, finding the thought process of the little creature very amusing.

"That would be just like papa to go traveling to Southern," Tera said with a small smile. "I hope he gets home safe..." Her eyes darkened slightly at the thought that her father might perish at sea, with no body to be found. Picosith's eyes whirled grey, and she looked over at Hers.

Mine, he will be fine, she said privately to Hers.

I know. I just can't help worrying, Tera replied silently. "I wish I could go there," Tera said suddenly. "I wanna travel the world! I wanna go to the other Weyrs and see what kinds of other dragons they have there! I bet there might even be dragons that we don't have here. Like the Aurora of Ice Stone Weyr! The picture in the scroll was so pretty, I want to meet one in real life!"

TeraMine, we need to speak about the whole Clutching thing later, Picosith told Hers before allowing the others in the area to hear her thoughts as well. Tera just rolled her eyes at that comment. They had been meaning to speak about it for a while, but the time had never been right. The moment was inevitable, but the time would come. It always came, to every Rider of a Clutching female.

[Moo]

Metanath nodded astutely, and said no more on the matter – this was a topic best left to the females of the Weyr. He snorted and looked absently at his feet before turning to his Rider, eyes spinning a no-nonsense yellow. We should take care of…other matters now. You certainly want to -- At Tera’s sudden laugh, he straightened up and looked down at the weyrling pair, as if it was her fault for interrupting his conversation.

Easy now, N’kio warned, a hand running over a fold in Metanath’s wing membrane, his attention torn between the two as he listened to Tera’s musings.

With a snort, he swished his tail. Don’t you agree? We haven’t all day to wait here, despite what you may want. There’s the accounting and meetings and cleaning and business that cannot wait. And I, for one, am ready to fly.

All right, all right. You know how to find her, he replied with a shrug, and tuned the dragon out as Tera’s enthusiasm caught his attention. N’kio grinned. “Well, once you and Picosith are old enough, it will be much easier to travel. Much faster, too. But don’t rush your training just to go off on adventures – practice hard. I hope you do get to explore the other Weyrs, as well as see an Aurora. Just remember to be smart about travelling.” He paused as he noticed her eyes slightly unfocus – her dragon must be talking, he guessed.

While N’kio was turning the thought of travel over in his head, Metanath reached out with his mind and sought out the one person he was searching for: Elora. He didn’t entirely understand his Rider’s attraction – after all, she was no Sunset – but she had her own charm that he liked. At the very least, he considered, she could keep him in line. Not that his Rider was bad, but…she seemed to be strong. He valued that. Metanath paused momentarily in his searching once he believed he found her, and considered his next words. Elora…are you okay? We have some time before we leave. I would like it if we three could talk together about what is troubling you and him. I would never hear the end of it if we did not.

“And I wouldn’t worry about your father. Everyone at Cliffside is an able sailor, and he among the best I’ve worked alongside. I’m sure he will be back soon.” He was about to begin another thought when Metanath nudged him in the shoulder. What is it?

Time to wrap things up. I know how you love to talk.

“I hope you four don’t mind, but I should be going,” N’kio announced to the weyrlings. “There’s someone I wish to see before Metanath and I must leave. I hope that’s alright. It was nice to meet you, Mau and Quimyenth, and thank you again for the help,” he nodded in their direction. “And it was very nice to see you’ve settled in, Tera. I’ll be sure to pass it along to your family.” Metanath stirred and stood beside him, looking at the young dragons in turn before strolling away, mind too preoccupied with work to give a proper goodbye. N’kio, on the other hand, smiled politely at their audience and, with a final farewell, waved and turned around to follow after his dragon.

What did she say?

Nothing yet, but we might as well go there now.

N’kio had no objections to that.

[Shoki]

Mau watched the rider's exchange with Tera and smiled a little. Always nice to have a good watch rider who knew you. The man seemed to have business to get too though, so it seemed like he would be off and about. The leather in Mau's arms reminded her that she had things to be doing as well. Making gifts took time, but was well worth it if you knew how.

"It was a pleasure meeting you N'kio. See you later." Mau nudged Qui a little bit, and the green turned to the black dragon.

Thanks for answering my questions. Bye.

"I'm heading back to the Barracks Tera, see you back there later." Mau trotted away, Quimyenth quickly overtaking her. The pair was quite pleased to meet new people as always but there were things to do and old friend to get things for. Just another day for the weyrling.

[Nicole]

What? Elora jumped slightly as Metanath's voice slipped into her mind, dropping the shirt she had absently been folding and refolding. You want to - oh, no, I'm fine. There's nothing bothering me. I'm just still adjusting to the Weyr, is all.

It wasn't necessarily a lie. She was fine - or would be - and she was still adjusting to the Weyr - and the kind of person she wanted to be there.

But involving herself with N'kio -- she couldn't. It would backfire. She needed to focus on herself, on becoming knowledgable about the new world around her, about learning how to play the games here.

No, no, not learning how to play games her. Learning just how to be a person here. Be herself.

And she couldn't do that if she was involved with somebody, no matter how scruffy and attractive, no matter how nice his dragon was.

I mean, if you want to talk before we leave, I suppose we could.

But she couldn't tell him. She didn't want to hurt his feelings - that's new - and she didn't necessarily want to... not lose him? You had to have him in order to lose him. She didn't have N'kio.

This was difficult.

[Moo]

Then we will be at your quarters shortly, if you would meet us outside them, replied Metanath, taking Elora at her word. He thought she sounded like his Rider when he was upset and didn't want anyone to know about it. He reminded himself of the reason for this talk in the first place, and chalked it up to...whatever it was that was going on between N'kio and her. With a sigh -- for his Rider's confusion was now his own -- he replayed the events in his head as he remembered them. This much he knew: it had to be resolved here, now, or else it would be a great distraction at Cliffside. Metanath shook his head at the mere thought.

"Did she say no?" N'kio asked suddenly.

Metanath turned his head -- apparently, his dear Rider had been watching him carefully. Fear not; she will see you. But N'kio, I urge you to get this solved today.

"Believe me," he replied, his smile wavering, "I would like an answer as much as you."

Once he felt he was close enough, Metanath stopped and sat down. He was not about to wait at her door; that would have been rude. Besides, he wanted to see if she would actually come out and talk. It was one thing to meet her at her door, where she could retreat -- it was another entirely if she walked out and met them. Whenever you are ready, Elora.

N'kio tapped him on his side. "Hey...what should I say?"

Metanath's eyes were turquoise. You're asking me? He warbled his amusement. Well, well. You were never like this with anyone else. Wait until the others back home find out.

Nothing's happened yet!

Yet, Metanath added smugly. Don't worry, N'kio. You'll be fine. You know what to say.

No, can't say that I do.

His Rider's nervousness was endearing, but he would never admit that to him. He didn't want N'kio's head to get any bigger. You do. You will.

Some help you turned out to be!

Hey now, we're on the same side. And remember, I'll leave you here if I have to.

So rude, N'kio smiled.

[Nicole]

She wasn't doing anything wrong. She wasn't going to say anything that wouldn't have been expected, that wasn't polite-but-sassy, that was going to be shocking or detrimental in any way.

She was going to keep her emotions away from men, because men were frustrating and annoying and didn't leave her time to focus on herself.

So why was she braiding her hair and checking to make sure she looked okay and that her shirt was straight and-

Ack. Stop, Elora. Inner!Elora spoke very sternly to confused!Elora, trying to calm herself down. He's just a guy. You're you, and you're fabulous. Get rid of him and focus on being the best Candidate you can be. Isn't that what you wanted?

The attempt to calm confused!Elora down didn't work, and she slipped into the hallway, absentmindedly tugging on the quickly braided hair. Perhaps it would be better down. Perhaps...

Ready when you are, Metanath.

[Moo]

Despite the fact that N'kio was still pacing, and she could not see them yet, Metanath nodded once he received her reply. We are ready, Elora. Though how ready they were, he could not say for certain. N'kio tended to talk a lot when he had no idea what to say. No...it was better to get this over and done with -- the conclusion he often came to. There were preparations to be dealt with back at Cliffside, even if her company was pleasant and her hands were so very soft.

"Wait...What are you thinking about?" came his incredulous question.

With a rumbling sigh, Metanath shifted where he sat and swished his tail on the ground. Never you mind. Doesn't concern you, anyway. He pulled back his head and peered over to where Elora was supposed to exit from. Besides, I can't have you distracted. Concentrate on the task at hand. His eyes glimmered with amusement as he hid his thoughts.

"Come on, that's not fair!"

Now, now, calm yourself. Better to prepare for what is to happen now, instead of what might not happen.

"That's very encouraging, thanks."

Contrary to what you think, I want this to work as much as you do.

N'kio scratched at his beard. "So what is it you recommend?"

Just be yourself, only think more.

He snorted. "Anything else?"

Metanath touched his Rider with the tip of his wing. Just relax. She does seem to like you, for some reason or another, so at least that hurdle has been crossed, he rumbled, his eyes soft blue. I will be here to listen in and keep track of what is happening. Don't worry.

"Oh, I...I'm not worried," replied N'kio, running his hands through his hair and straightening out his shirt.

Indeed, indeed.

[Nicole]

Elora found him just as he straightened out his shirt; a nervous habit or just something that was bothering him?

It doesn't matter.

Elora took a deep breath, flashed N'kio her brightest smile and stepped joined where he was standing. "What is it you wanted to talk about, sailor slash Rider?"

Good. Remember that he's a man used to going off for months and doing as he pleases. No need to get involved with him. Or anybody. Coming here was about doing what was best for you.

Sometimes her thought process was really annoying.

[Moo]

N’kio blinked, momentarily stunned and confused by her enthusiasm. Why was she so happy? Was this not as big a deal as he thought?

“Well...you, actually.” It could have been a worse start.

True, true.

Ignoring Metanath, he cleared his throat and continued. “I was hoping you might be able to explain to me what had happened during our last conversation – at the end of it, to be more specific. I just find myself…well, a bit confused, to be honest.”

He frowned slightly and looked down at his hands. “You found me confusing, and my honesty strange, if I remember correctly.” N’kio lifted his eyes. “Though – if I may – I don’t feel as if I’ve been confusing at all.” He took a few steps closer to her, and felt Metanath’s eyes on the back of his head.

“With that in mind, I was just wondering about you, and what you meant by what you told me. There must be more to this than I understand – which is where you come in. That is,” and he smiled politely, “if you would feel comfortable telling me. You said I don’t know you, Elora. I understand that. But…”

He could almost feel Metanath’s inhale as if it were his own.

“Would you let me get to know you more?”

I told you you would know what to say.

[Nicole]

A peculiar, almost surprised expression flashed over Elora's face, which she quickly covered with a neutral face. Despite his honesty and forwardness before, she still hadn't expected him to be so... well, forward.

The script she had written out neatly in her head seemed to fade away in the face of his smile. It was supposed to go that he made the suggestion and she would remind him that he had his work, and she was a Candidate, and they were both awfully busy, and didn't a nice guy like him have somebody waiting at home? And for him not to worry, and that they'd both be better off if they focused on their own lives and just saw each other at Gatherings and things.

But the way she had it laid out in her head seemed cool, even cold, and in the face of such honesty Elora found herself unable to spit it out.

darn him! Why couldn't he be like every other man she'd ever had to deal with? Self-invested and lying and scheming. She could deal with that. It was the honesty she couldn't deal with, the earnestness. He liked her, and he made it clear, and he was willing to get to know her, for Egg's sake!

She shoved the irritation aside -- it was directed at herself, not at him.

The entire thought process, from facial expression to irritation, happened in no more than five seconds, but that silence lay heavy.

Perhaps honesty was the best.

Not all the honesty, of course. There was no need to tell him what she used to be. But perhaps, that she was here to focus on her. That she was here to make a new start.

But she didn't want to hurt him.

And darn him for that, too.

So instead, what came out of her mouth was simply, "But you live at the Hold."

It wasn't a denial, or an agreement, or a comment on her part, but a statement on what was true, and it was an obvious avoidance of the question, and Elora felt her stomach sink even as it slipped out of her mouth.

The urge to follow it up with another comment was shoved down by her. No; it was a comment he could reply to, and it was an avoidance, and he'd understood that kind of meant no, even if it was a mean way to go about it and even if she felt bad for it.

She just didn't know -- no, she knew. She just couldn't do it any other way without breaking down the wall that protected her from the outside world, and she wasn't comfortable enough to do that yet. Not here in the Weyr, not with him, just - not yet.

[Moo]

N'kio tilted his head. "Yes...I live at the Hold as much as you live here at the Weyr." Her response, from her sudden expression to the statement itself, was peculiar, but did not seem like an outright rejection. That was a good start...right?

Seems to be a red sky.

Then again, she did avoid the question, and hers was no simple statement. It had as much weight as the silence that came before it, and silence, he knew, was never a good sign.

Metanath looked from Elora to his Rider, and again once more. Perhaps she does not know what you mean. I certainly do, but it would not be the first time another has not. Shall I explain it to her?

"No, no, I shall," he replied, paused, and realized he had spoken aloud -- he had wanted to keep their internal conversation private. Ah well; it was no more than what she would hear anyway.

"Well, Elora," he started, grasping for words. "Do understand, I am not asking for quite as much as you are suggesting." Wait. Wait a minute. Did that sound like an insult?

Did you want it to be?

"I mean, that is not to say I wouldn't, or it could never be -- though certainly not so soon --but even if it were, which it isn't, I feel I would want to know you more. And if I'm correct in my thinking," he said, and nodded once to confirm it to himself, "then I would imagine you feel the same way. Am I right?"

Metanath snorted. I think I followed that. He glanced to Elora. Would you like me to translate? He can be quite confusing and talkative.

"I don't blame you, honestly," N'kio announced as if he hadn't heard that last remark. "In truth, I know very little of you and your past, and you know little of mine." His thoughts began to wander. "Very little," he murmured to himself and wondered, quickly, what they looked like now. Perhaps they would show at the Gather.

Focus. I would like to leave today, you know.

"Yes, right." He cleared his throat. "Regardless, I don't see that as a bad thing, Elora. Do you? It's true, we both live different lives, but that doesn't mean we couldn't try to be friends. Or not friends, if the title is important. Just two people who see each other when they have time." His brow furrowed. "I have little to lose from asking, except perhaps --"

Your massages, Metanath interrupted. He does not give them as well as you, try as he may.

"Thanks. As I was saying, Elora, I have little to lose. Not to get depressing, but in my line of work -- not to mention where I live -- you wake up each morning with the idea you may not come back that same night. It's just how life goes at Cliffside," he shrugged. "So I figured I would ask now, since there's little point in waiting until later."

With a deep rumble that sounded much like his Rider's laugh, Metanath shook his head to himself. I'm still surprised that you like her this much.

Remind me why?

Up until now, I still thought you were putting on a show because you find her attractive. Perhaps I don't give you enough credit.

I'm not my younger self, you know.

Ah, no, but I knew him well.

Scratching his neck, N'kio mulled everything over in his head. He had said everything, right? He wasn't even sure if he remembered what he had said. Seeing her made thinking...confusing.

"I know it's still early to say, and I apologize, but I'm trying to figure you out, Elora, and I can't unless you let me. I won't be dishonest and say I don't like you, because I do like you, but it's not...well, not entirely in the way you might think. Trust me when I say I know how those sorts of relationships end, and that isn't really what I've imagined happening between...between us."

And he's done a lot of imagining, Elora.

Oh, that dragon. He let that one slide. "And before I stop talking, because I know I've said enough for both you and I and Metanath combined, just know that if anything does come of this, I would not want to intrude on your personal life, or -- if you do Impress -- your time with your future dragon. Priorities. While I would like to see you more, I would not want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way."

Metanath yawned for show. Shall I fetch that hand-knot-rope thing and have you two be official? Awful lot to say for someone who has nothing to lose, just saying, he admitted, and tipped his head toward Elora, his eyes betraying his Rider's emotions with slight hints of yellow.

Elora, if you are tired of standing and listening that long to him, you are more than welcome to sit with me. I wouldn't blame you.

[Nicole]

Oh my.

N'kio's outpour of emotion -- because that's what it was, all that rambling and repeating and trying to make his thoughts clear when they had been clear to begin with -- made Elora's instinct to flee rise up and valiantly try to force her legs to back up and make some terrible excuse as to why she had to leave. Even Metanath's comments, all of which she tried to ignore - even if it was rude - made her want to start running.

It was her own knowledge that that would be the wrong things to do (and her own liking of N'kio) that kept her rooted to the spot, listening quietly to N'kio's rambles, doing her best to keep the panicked look out of her eyes and off of her face.

He couldn't possibly like her that much -- could he? He was right; they barely knew each other, barely knew each others' past, and she was certain he wouldn't like hers. And he was already talking about what would happen if they were together and she Impressed?

Hell, there wasn't even a pregnant dragon at the moment!

She reached up and started playing with her hair, curling it around her finger in a tight ringlet. Everything she wanted to avoid had just been said, and everything she could say seemed so stereotypical, so -- mean, almost, that --

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

The question blurted out of her before she could stop it, and she winced, reaching up to run a hand over her hair until it rested on the back of her neck. "I mean-"

For a half second, words failed her.

Then she took a deep breath and plowed forward.

"You're right -- we barely know each other. You have your responsibilities at the Hold and I have my responsibilities as a Candidate. I just -" she fumbled over her words "-N'kio, you're a great guy. I like you. I do."

And it was true. It was why this was so - so - so irritating to have to do, and so annoying, because this wasn't why she was here.

Her shoulders slumped slightly and she looked at him, her eyes soft without really explaining what she was feeling. "But being in a relationship - of any sort - wasn't why I came here."

[Moo]

"Oh no, please," he said with a start, eyes widening, "Don't feel badly for saying how you feel. Seems only fair, as I've gone and said much, much more than I thought I would."

Well, she gave him an answer -- and it was an honest one. But was it all? He sighed and stroked his beard. "You're right, you know. About all of it." Then, however, he noticed something peculiar. It was such a small detail; hardly noticeable. Probably not worth bringing up. Probably.

He bit his lip. "Save for one part."

Metanath lifted his head. Oh?

He looked right back at her. "You said you weren't here for a relationship, Elora," he said quietly, "And yet...I think that is exactly why you are here, now." N'kio paused, for a moment, at the risk of sounding as if he were talking about himself. His eyes trailed over her shoulders, her hair, those soft eyes, her lips.

You distract yourself.

Hard not to be.

And yet, everything he had noticed before about her -- in particular, that collected, cool appearance -- had now changed. She seemed uncertain, unsure, caught off-guard. Perhaps even nervous. He actually found it rather endearing. But was that really his doing?

"The one thing I really took to heart, after spending time in a Weyr myself, was just how crucial it was to develop good relationships -- and I'm not just saying that. It goes without saying that the most important relationship is the one between dragon and rider. However, it is certainly not the only kind you may encounter."

You are a Candidate, yes, but I do not think they mean for you to not have friends. As I'm sure you will find, the entire Weyr itself is built on the bonds one shares with another.

N'kio continued. "Now, I don't know your story, so forgive me if this seems redundant. You said you are not looking for a relationship, Elora, and I can respect that. With our current situations, it would be difficult to make a proper one work. And yet...is it wrong to still try for one? I like you, Elora," and he couldn't help but smile, "and you said you liked me, too. So why don't we just see where this goes? No commitments, no promises of any sort. I just want to get to know you better, truthfully. Will you let me?"

[Nicole]

She stood silent as he talked, noting his eyes roaming for a moment. The small gesture was enough to both make her slightly smile and want to punch her in the face.

Would she always be defined by her body?

But it was Metanath's comment that made the smile fade back to the neutral face as she thought, half-listening to N'kio as she did so.

You are a Candidate, yes, but I do not think they mean for you not to have friends. As I'm sure you will find, the entire Weyr is build on the bonds one shares with another.

It would be different, perhaps, if she were a true Candidate -- one that had been found on a Search and brought back. But she wasn't. N'kio didn't know that because he wasn't here, and nobody spoke about it, but it was a well known fact that she was hear because she had convinced somebody to bring her.

Elora was very good at convincing people to do what she wanted. He said he Searched her. Thought she would make a good Rider.

She agreed with him, to an extent -- Eggs knows she loved dragons enough, was dedicated enough, was trying to shape herself into the kind of person she wanted to be.

But here, making friends didn't seem to be a part of that, and Elora had told herself she didn't need it.

And yet here was N'kio, offering a hand, making it clear that he liked her, leaving the choice up to her. And Eggs, she wanted to take it. But that would mean she'd have to start defining herself around other people again, and right now all she wanted was to be able to define herself by herself. How could she be friends with somebody - or more than friends, the tiny voice in the back of her head reminded - if she didn't even know who she was?

"Will you let me?"

The question hung in the air for a moment as Elora looked at him, at Metanath, back at him.

I should tell him no. That I'm not really in the mood to have to deal with somebody who so clearly wants to be in a relationship with me, even if I do like him, and that this is already too complicated for a friendship. That I have other things I'd like to focus on.

She took a deep breath.

"I suppose we could consider a trial run."

[Moo]

He and Metanath exchanged stunned looks.

Was...was that really a yes?

Metanath's eyes glittered and swirled the same bright blue of his Rider's. I do believe it was, he hummed, tail swishing and claws kneading the ground.

Surprise, euphoria, relief, panic, even a slight, tingling sensation -- there wasn't a name for this sort of feeling! But it was absolutely, most certainly good. He sighed deeply. It had been so long since...He could only ever remember feeling like this when he first saw...You know, I hadn't really expected that to work! he admitted, and chuckled to himself.

I am glad it did.

He could not resist grinning when he turned back to Elora.

"I, ahh..." he began, momentarily lost for words. "I'm glad to hear of that." He wanted to keep talking, but he had no idea what to say. What was left of the rational side of his brain told him it would have come out as something unintelligible -- for he was much too giddy to speak properly.

Luckily, Metanath came to the rescue, slightly more in control of his thoughts than his Rider. What happens now, Elora? What can I expect to happen? With that, he nudged N'kio closer to her.

The push did him some good after all. Clearing his throat for what seemed like the hundredth time today, N'kio ran a hand through his hair and back over his beard, smoothing them down before he finally tucked his hands in his pockets. He really wasn't sure what to do with his hands right now.

"Yes, umm...tell me what would work the best. For you." His smile was smaller now, as he tried to appear more serious -- but like a kid who had stumbled upon something secret, his eyes still shone with excitement. "What would you have me do to...to make this work?"