Just be Perfect [74.02.02] (Open!)

[Shoki]

Hedara walked out of Sanshe's room. Or rather, the room she was using while undergoing treatments. She was staring at the ground, something she hardly ever did. She had closed the door behind her and was now standing in front of the door, collecting herself. Kyuuki was standing by, looking bewildered at the Jr. Weyrwoman. She had been much happier when she had walked in, which was leaving the Lifewing rider a touch nervous. After a minute of silence Hedara noticed Kyuuki again and gave a polite thank you and strode off, not quite sure of where she was going.

She ended up in the room used for training with weapons, which after she thought about it for a moment, made sense. The only thing she found more comforting then taking a hammer and metal and creating something useful, was practicing with a blade. Besides, it was a way of burning off stress. And certainly there was stress to burn off. She went and grabbed a practice sword, and started mindlessly practicing forms. All the while thinking back to what the conversation this morning had entailed. The first part had been fine. Talking with Sanshe about everything since she saw her last, and the Sr. Weyrwoman had enjoyed every minute of it. Hedara had listened as Sanshe spoke on what was new, what treatments were like, how she had read half the books in the Weyr, or it had seemed like. She had retold her favorite stories, and histories and Hedara listened, just to see he friend's face brighten. Then...

Hedara over stepped a thrust she was practicing and had to focus to regain her balance. Shardit. She pulled her foot back and glared at the ground, as if it was somehow its fault for making her practice less then perfect. It seemed like she had to be perfect. There were enough reasons why people wouldn't approve of her, but now she had to be perfect. Her hand tightened around the practice sword, as her teeth locked together. Sanshe had mentioned, like it was not a big thing, that maybe she wouldn't be able to return to duty. Maybe. That word had been stressed, but to Hedara it was like Sanshe had just said she was going to leave and never come back. She had heard this from the Healers of course, it was their job to plainly state all the possibilities, but from Sanshe it had sounded much more real. Hedara breathed in again, and set back to practice, trying to stab away the thoughts clouding her mind. It was going to be a long day.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Five weeks since Hatching. Five weeks since Impressing. Five weeks of hearing at least once a day from somebody, whether directly or overheard, that one’s dragon is a bad omen of well, bad things. T’vax was, needless to say, not in the best mood he’d ever been in. So, having fed Slinesteth and hung out until the weyrling was asleep, he had roamed around and then settled on practicing sword-work; primarily because Barrek would be occupied in the smithy and could not, therefore, arrange any accidents. Certainly, he had not expected any company to arrive, though he had been practicing off to one side, away from the door, just in case. Had been, because he was now watching the Weyrwoman practice; trying to figure out what might have brought her here. From the intensity of her practice, it had to be something major.

Shrugging, he tried to return to his own practicing, but he kept glancing over his shoulder; practicing put him on edge, and having someone behind him while he was doing it did not help. Turning, he saluted the Weyrwoman and started slip out. Unfortunately for his plans, he tripped and fell flat on his face. Shard growth spurts.

[Shoki]

Stupid. Parry. Sharding. Thrust. Thread bait. Guard. Illness. Counterattack. Once again Hedara was mulling over the fact that she couldn't just stab sickness and kill it. It was hard enough being friends with the Sr. Weyrwoman when she was well, since there wasn't much time to chat. Now it was worse. Hedara breathed out slowly and lowered the sword. She couldn't stand it. Her awareness finally expanded to include what was going on around her. T'vax was here, about to leave apparently. She nodded at his salute, looking a touch tired to do or say much else. Until he hit the ground. When he fell it was like her mood broke apart and her gaze snapped to the Weyrling. She trotted over quickly and held out her hand, to help him back up.

"Are you alright? Not hurt I hope." Hedara remembered vaguely a conversation like this but put it out of her mind. Her unpleasant mood would return, but not until she was done making sure he was okay.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

T’vax was wishing it were possible to fall into the floor. Certainly it would be preferable to still being present after tripping in front of the Weyrwoman. He was also wishing that Slinesteth was awake, so that he could talk to the Chrome as a way of distracting himself. Unfortunately, Slinesteth was asleep, and when he opened his eyes after briefly closing them, he was still on the floor, now with a hand hovering near him.

“I’m fine,” he responded. “Nothing hurt, maybe a bruise, but nothing worth noticing,” he added, rolling onto his right side and letting go of his practice sword. He reached out to catch hold of the proffered hand as he finished speaking and pulled himself upright, scooping up the practice sword in his right hand as he did so. He shifted slightly to each side, testing his balance, and finding it ok released the Weyrwoman’s hand.

“Thanks for the hand up,” he said. He rolled his shoulders, pulling his neck forward and down briefly to help settle them. “So, what brings you here?” he asked, determined to make a note of it so that they didn’t end up in the practice room at the same time again.

[Shoki]

Hedara watched him as he pulled him self up with her help, just making sure he looked fine. Ah, didn't look like it. She supposed there were worse places to fall, after all, here the floor and such were kept clear to make sure that no one got hurt. She nodded once in response to his thanks, observing his method of shaking off the fall. Nothing hurt. She didn't need something else about T'vax to worry about. She didn't exactly blame him for anything but honestly he was causing her indirect headaches. When he asked her why she was here, she bit her lip and looked down at the practice sword she was holding.

"I needed a rather sudden break. I don't do well sitting still so its either here or at the forge. I ended up here." Usually she had her days perfectly scheduled. Her practice time was early in the morning, right after she woke up. Now she was supposed to be addressing problems and doing paperwork, depending on the need for either today. Speaking of problems, she looked over T'vax again and tilted her head slightly. "How have you been T'vax?" It was a quiet question, but Hedara hardly seemed like the type for simple conversation. She obviously wanted to know, since she wouldn't have asked otherwise.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Trapped. Why, why, had he said anything at all to the Weyrwoman? The question was such a quiet thing, but its volume did not lessen its effect. In fact, the very quietness of the question lent it a power that demanded an answer. Yet at the same time, it wasn’t like he could just actually tell the Weyrwoman how he was actually feeling, since it would have to begin with a statement that everybody hated Slinesteth and end with a statement about how he thought WeyrSmith Barrek was going to either kill him or kidnap (and likely then kill) him, which would mean he’d have to explain why he thought that, and that would lead to some sort of confrontation involving Barrek… No, Slinesteth was right. It was better to leave Barrek where he was, not try and do anything — other than keep the Silverlight Weyrling pairs away from the man — so that Barrek could be used to discover any other spies.

“I’ve… I’ve been ok,” he replied. Great, he added to himself. might as well hang a sign over my head that says ‘liar here’, stammering like that. He hadn’t dropped his eyes from Hedara’s gaze, but he mgiht as well have as far as he was concerned. Sighing, he decided that a little more information might be in order. “I didn’t expect the lessons to be as hard as they are,” he continued, “and everybody keeps acting like Slinesteth is some kind of monster.”

T’vax clamped his mouth shut, his eyes wide. He had not intended to say that, hadn’t even realized that it was on the way out of his mouth or he would have stopped it from entering the air. He did look away from Hedara then, staring at the closest pell instead. The words hung there, unable to be recalled, coated in the bitterness that they had been spoken in, the bitterness of a young man unable to defend his friend because the hecklers just wouldn’t listen and wouldn’t see that there was nothing of substance to their claims.

[Shoki]

'I've...I've been okay.' Translation, 'I'm not telling you what my problems are, I don't trust you.' Well, what had she expected? She wondered if there was anyone T'vax would trust enough to tell his problems too. She didn't have an answer herself though. He didn't exactly have family to go to. Hedara abruptly cut off her train of thought, to listen to what the Weyrling was actually saying. He gave actual answers, mentioning the difficulty of lessons and- wait what? He actually said it.

"Lots of people forgetting that just because something has a dark origin does not mean its bad. I swear folks have already forgotten about Deathwings." There were certain views of hers that had changed since she impressed Temperanth. The looking into history was one, which she swore Ices only had to give their riders a more level head. Not true of course. It made their own heads more level too. "I feel like screaming at them most days too." She wasn't the only one in the Weyr being crushed under the weight of expectations. T'vax's just had more bite then usual. Hedara wasn't exactly good at comforting, and wasn't sure it was what T'vax needed anyway. So she just said what she thought needed to be said.

"Just try to be better then them. Then they cannot say it to your face. Most of the time." She knew it didn't work all the time, some people just didn't care. Still, it made the days bearable. To her. Sometimes. She really wasn't the best sort of person for this.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

T’vax hoped the Weyrwoman was right. It would certainly make his life a lot easier if she were. Of course, those rare times that he’d actually attracted positive attention from his father had been when he’d somehow bested his brother Taver at something. A rare occurrence, that, but it had happened on occasion. Maybe this would actually work. Although, it would require an insane amount of work, for at that moment, T’vax stood no better than average in any of his classes.

A lot of work it is, then, he told himself. He opened his mouth, closed it again. He knew he should tell the Weyrwoman about Barrek Malvois, but he had no proof yet. The first thing the man would say would be that the accusation was a lie. The second would probably be to claim a pure motive, a desire to spy upon Tiberax for the ability to bring the group down. Still though, if he just…

Once more, he opened his mouth, intending to spill everything out to the Weyrwoman, and once more he closed it again. This was like waving a sign that something was wrong, he needed to say something, quickly. Memory came to his rescue then, memory of the Weyrwoman striking a blow on his father, and holding her own in the subsequent exchange of blows. The Weyrling Master probably wouldn’t like that he’d acted on it, but, then, if Weyrwoman Hedara said no, the idea would probably never be mentioned again, and if she said yes...

It’d be worth it. It’d be more than worth it.

“Could you give me some pointers? At sword-work?” he asked. His tone was extremely diffident, almost even nervous sounding. It was the kind of tone that he might have used when asking his twin to help him with something, or when suggesting something that his father would disapprove of.

[Shoki]

Hedara watched as he internally went through her suggestion. She wasn't privy to his private conversation in his head, but it didn't look like he thought it was a bad one. Still, something was pressing on his mind, from the way he acted. It was like he was deep in thought and not quite able to vocalize what he was thinking. Or wasn't sure if he should tell her. She internally sighed. This was always going to be a problem for her she supposed. Maybe if she said something it would be better, so she was about to speak when T'vax finally got some words out. She blinked once in surprise then spoke quietly.

"Swords huh?" She looked over T'vax seriously, sizing him up at a glance. Well, he was about the age she had been when she started, and somewhat alike in build. So there was really only one way to go about this. "Tell me something first. What do you know, or rather what is it that you think about swords?" Her face was vaguely intrigued, as though she was interested but not quite sure. It wasn't really at trick question, but it was so broad a question perhaps she wouldn't get the sort of answer she was looking for. Still she left it was it was and observed T'vax and the response he made.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

The Weyrwoman’s initial response wasn’t negative, there was that much. T’vax pulled his shoulders back a little more, settling into a posture that was not, quite, standing at full attention. He maintained the posture even once Hedara was done sizing him up; he was talking to the Weyrwoman, after all. Nothing in her gaze or posture seemed disapproving, so that was a good thing at least, but there was no need to court disapproval by sloppy or disrespectful carriage.

T’vax blinked. What did he know or think about swords? If the question hadn’t blindsided him, it had done the next best thing. T’vax stood completely still, his mind racing. How should he answer, what should he say?

“I know there’s a pointy end and a sharp edge and that you should try to hit your opponent with either of those while not getting hit yourself,” he responded, his tone joking. Ordinarily, he probably wouldn’t have responded with a joke, but it was a habit, as far as forcing his mouth to open and actually say things, there was nothing like starting out with a little humor. Besides, when the details were stripped away, that was basically how swords worked, right?

“They’re harder to learn how to use than spears are, and if you want to fight someone with a longer one the best thing to do is to step inside his reach, so that you are close in, because the makes his swings more awkward than yours.” T’vax had no clue if this was anything like the answer the Weyrwoman expected, but it was all he could think of at the moment.

[Shoki]

Hedara considered his response for a moment. Well, joking aside, he wasn't wrong, and it was hitting on something that he had better know. The analyzing was pretty good so it seemed fair enough to speak, though she didn't want to step on the Weyrling Master's realm of teaching much. So she would go about it they way she had been taught.

"Fair enough statements. You have in part hit upon what I am about to say, but here it is in more formal speech." Hedara brought up the practice sword, merely showing it to T'vax for emphasis. "A sword is a weapon, and all weapons are tools. Tools have certain inherent rules. If you don't know how to use them properly, you will be hurt yourself. If they are in poor repair, they cannot be used properly. Of course the most obvious, and at the same time, most important. You cannot use a tool if you do not have one." She lowered the sword to her side and moved backwards smoothly. "So, what would you do if you were disarmed in a fight?" Hedara continued to observe his reactions even though she had already resolved to teach him some things. She wanted to see how he thought fighting through. It was important, in a way. Using a sword took strategy, and at least some round about thinking. Simply slashing at someone was an easy way to get killed if you didn't react quick to the opponent. Still, she didn't make any premeditated judgments on what T'vax knew. It was why she was asking questions.