I think you need to know this (Shoki/Cyan)

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

3076.08.03 | A couple hours before Midday

Kel was on a mission. Specifically, he needed to find Cyan Velion, and before he had to go meet Artemis at lunch and take over guarding her. He really had intended to do this sooner, but there’d been a whole bunch of extra stuff he’d had to do for WeyrlingMaster L’ras and Weyrleader T’kar before they’d been satisfied that he could handle himself well enough for the job, as well as a handful of tasks for his masters. Not many, and all of them simple enough to discharge.

The first couple places he checked, the dining hall and the WeyrHarper’s office, were empty of Cyan. However, he met with success in the Aerie, where he found her just leaving her brother’s quarters.

“Hey Cyan, you got a spare hour or so?” he asked. He’d thought through how best to arrange this, and decided to ask about free time first, then bring up his plan.

[Shoki]

“Later Kiyosh!”

Don’t be afraid to come on by again. Cr’wean might need your visits, but I adore them. The Lifewing ruffled her feathers some while Cyan smiled.

“Of course.” She headed on out into the hall when suddenly K’rad popped up. “Oh, hello.” She looked surprised for a moment but broke into a smile soon enough. Not every day that she had a friend pop in on her quite like this. Dawn and Breaker were out with Zigbrieth, being as well behaved as they could be for the Blue. Zigbrieth didn’t like them when they were too noisy, so Cyan had convinced them to behave.

“Sure, I have some free time. What did you need?” This time had been set aside for general visiting, and Zigbrieth would let her count Kel among those to visit. He tried to turn a blind eye to who she visited, just so long as she was hanging out with people. The fact that she often switched who she was visiting annoyed him, so he ignored it. Always making plans, that one.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Kel grinned briefly at Cyan’s acceptance. He clearly hadn’t been quite sure she’d have the time for him. The grin still looked a bit, unpracticed, for all that it transformed his face. He probably never would be the kind of person who went around grinning at everything.

“I was…” Kel hesitated. Flicked a glance over her shoulder at her brother’s door.

Just say it.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to know a few more unarmed tricks. Just… in case the need should arise.” Kel’d lived his whole life around violence. First he was the trained guard (and errand boy) of the nephew of a Lord Holder, then part of the action committee of the syndicate (part of how he earned his family’s protection). Cyan was his friend. She was not prepared for potential violence. Therefore he should help her become more so.

[Shoki]

Cyan tilted her head slightly as Kel seemed to hesitate over his words. It seemed like he probably was looking to make sure her brother wasn’t around. Sadly that seemed to be a common trend. Didn’t affect her feelings for her brother though. However when Kel finally spoke her face showed surprise, then it fell into a rather forced smile.

“Um…I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She clenched her hand unconsciously, one that had a dramatic scar across its palm. “I, uh, am not very good.” This was fairly accurate. During the knife training that went along with weyrlinghood, she had basically failed at anything that wasn’t purely defensive. She had no offense at all, which meant that every single spar had her impressively outclassed. Of course, it all came from her aversion to hurting anybody. Flame practice went fairly well, Zigbrieth and her seemed to do it all well enough, but when it came to combat, she was kinda sunk.

“It’s alright, I am a pretty good runner, I’ll probably get out of there before anyone can get me in a fight.” Unless she was dashing forward to try and protect someone. She dearly hoped Kel hadn’t heard about that though.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Kel repressed a sigh. He’d rather thought she might feel that way about it. “Well, maybe it was just what you were learning,” he suggested. Dang it, she was his friend! He couldn’t protect her anymore, not with having pledged to protect Artemis.

And how are you going to reconcile that with what you might have to do? he asked himself, before just pushing the thought away. He’d just make sure neither Artemis nor her dragon ever came to harm. That shouldn’t be hard.

“What where you learning?” he asked. Realizing this for a mistake, he quickly groped for something else to say. He couldn’t let on that he didn’t know. He was supposed to have received the same training! “Cyan, I never should have been able to throw you like that!”

Absolute silence. Both in the air and in his mind. Dimly, he was aware of Belegurth doing the draconic equivalent of banging his head against a wall. Swallowing, he stepped back from Cyan, spreading his hands slightly, just in case.

[Shoki]

“I…guess?” Cyan didn’t really feel comfortable with this line of conversation, but she wasn’t assertive. So she just kinda went along with it. Maybe it would be okay, even if she was horrible, maybe it might be fun, a little? Kel was fun to hang around, that was good, right?

“Um, knife stuff? Attacking, defending, that kind of thing…” Cyan really didn’t think about the fact that Kel was supposed to have learned the same, but what she really didn’t expect was the next thing that came out of his mouth.

Cyan stared at him. Like a doll that was cleverly fashioned to look like a human. She just stood there, staring at Kel, while her mind moved a mile a minute. Flipped her? But Kel said that she had tripped. Why change what he said now? She didn’t have any reason to doubt him before, now he basically just said he lied before. He helped bandage her up. That was a fact she knew, but why lie before? She didn’t get it. She was staring at an Abyss dragonet again, impossible to comprehend. What did she do? Her brained tried to wrap around what he had shouted at her, but didn’t quite reach. So she started to move, like a clockwork toy, kinda jerky and uneven. She took a step back, and she tried to smile. It didn’t look like a happy smile.

“I…uh…”She felt cornered. Like inside was too small. She didn’t have time to register what that all too familiar feeling was. She needed to be outside. “I’m not that heavy…really…” A feeble observation to explain why he could flip her with ease. Her breath was caught in her throat. Another jerky step back. She never liked tight spaces. Open air was where she belonged. Sky and waves and cool. Her face was hot. She was sweating. “…Would be…easy…” Her chest felt tight. She managed a shallow breath…

Cyanee! The concerned cry came to her mind, but it was like it couldn’t fit in with all of what was going on in her brain. Just sort of bounced off. Kiyosh! What is going on in there?!

Zigbrieth? Cyan isn’t in our room. The Lifewing strained her head forward, trying to get a better vantage into the halls. Cyan wasn’t in her line of sight. What was the Blue so worried about?

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Kel stared. His own unblinking, hazel eyes, wide with shock at his own words as he realized what he had said, were locked on Cyan’s unblinking brown ones. For a timeless moment, neither moved, but Kel could already tell she was falling away. He spread his hands wider, trying to indicate he wasn’t a threat. She was moving like one of Nakeldar’s toy men, all jerky. Her smile, he thought it was supposed to be a smile anyway, was all wrong. He’d never seen a person act like this. He wanted to call out, to summon help, but said help would only take him away, would blame him… was he to blame for this?

She took another jerky step back. Kel unconsciously echoed it by stepping forward. Despite the situation, despite the uncertainty, his stride was smooth, confident, the stride of a dancer… or a warrior. “Cyan, Cyan what’s wrong?” he asked, taking another step towards her. He didn’t understand what was happening.

He didn’t want her to be acting like this. It wasn’t right for Cyan, his friend, to be acting like this, so frightened. Without thinking about it, he reached towards her. “Cyan, you’re ok,” he breathed. “Cyan…?”

[Shoki]

Cyan could watch, see Kel’s movements. They just felt so distant from what was happening. He didn’t look threatening. Kel wasn’t threatening. He was Kel. However as he moved forward she felt more enclosed. Her hand reached up, trying to grab at the collar of her shirt. She didn’t wear long sleeves. Too constricting. The shirt wasn’t that constricting, but it could have been a strait jacket for how she felt right now. He was talking. She could hear him, she wanted to try and explain. Or did she? She didn’t think too much, she just wanted to talk. It was her breath that was getting in the way.

“Too…closed…”It was hard to explain. Why didn’t the words come out right? He reached for her, but her legs gave out, though she tried to grab at the hand, she was too slow, too uneven, it felt like.

Zigbrieth strained under the weight of Cyan’s feelings. What did he do?! This was all inside her, not a physical threat! The Blue racked his brain for what might be happening, befor ecomign across an idle conversation.

“That’s okay, I don’t need to go in.” Cyan smiled up at him, looking happy, but inside she was still scared of leaving him alone for two minutes. “Besides, I like the outdoors. I get spooked sometimes, if I am inside too long. So being out with you is really nice.”

Kiyosh! What do you know about being spooked of the inside?

Hmm. Do you mean scared of inside? The Vulture pondered, while still trying to crane her head. She could hear something, but it was hard to focus on it when the worried Blue was talking to her. Because I know there are human things where… She’s scared of tight places. Kiyosh suddenly snapped her head up and like a laser she focused on her rider. Get over here. Cyan feels trapped. That’s all it took, her brother was on his way. Zigbrieth? Try to get her to relax, if you can.

Cyanee, Mine, please calm down. I’m here! The Blue upset the two firelizards on him, moving about since he couldn’t get to his rider. He didn’t like this at all. Cyan could hear him, but she was still on the floor, trying to breathe.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Too closed? What was she talking about? Belegurth was likewise confused, although his thought was that Cyan had meant to say “close”, referring to the current location of K’rad. K’rad was about to step back, thinking maybe to give her more space, but then her legs started to buckle and she reached out. Kel shifted forward, his fingertips just brushing Cyan’s fingers as she reached for his hand. He lunged forwards, but was only able to slow her descent, after a fashion, by throwing himself to the ground and catching her as she dropped towards him.

She said she didn’t want you that close!

She tried to grab for my hand!

K’rad rolled slightly, shifting out from under Cyan.

Look out!

Footsteps. Running footsteps. Kel snapped to his feet, waited the moment it took for the footsteps to get close enough, then spun around, fist driving up for the approaching man’s stomach.

[Shoki]

It was far too long for Cr’wean. Dang it, Cyan hadn’t had an attack in so long, and it shouldn’t have happened now. He’d been more worried about when the fires were still around, and people had to stay inside. She probably managed it by sneaking outside more often than he would have liked. Typical. This wasn’t the first time he had to deal with this though, so he came running gripping a cloth whose contents were-

Suddenly spilled everywhere when K’rad hit the healer’s stomach. Bits of ice. It was a cold compress. Cr’wean didn’t have the same reaction as Cyan would have in danger. Because it was him. He turned his gaze to K’rad, eyes blazing and started yelling in such a way that one that has just been punched in the stomach usually doesn’t.

“Kid, I will SHARDING END YOU IF YOU DON’T GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!” A low hiss was elicited from his room. Well, Kiyosh had certainly heard THAT. It seemed as though K’rad had hit what was in Cr’wean’s hands, rather than getting him squarely in the stomach. So for the most part he had just poked a bear. A bear whose attention was quickly diverted when Cyan made a feeble movement.

“Hey, relax. You can move, it’s just in your head. Remember what we talked about.” Cr’wean grabbed some of the ice that fell on the ground and changed gears. He put it against her forehead, and she seemed to relax a little bit. He shifted, letting the ice fall so that he could pick up Cyan, and he started moving her into his room. Kiyosh ducked back so Cr’wean had space, and Zigbrieth had found his way close. Fortunately he was about the size of a large lifewing.

The effect was obvious. She started to breathe a little easier, her eyes moving between the open sky and her dragon. It was easy to relax. She was physically tired now, but let Cr’wean keep her up, leaning on his shoulder. Sometimes though, it was a little embarrassing having her big brother do this stuff for her. Didn’t mean she didn’t love him for it.

“Thanks…Cr’wean.” Her words were a little more solid Cr’wean, looked exasperated, but relieved.

“You shoulda gone to Kiyosh, she could help you relax.” Always the lecture.

“I love you too.” A more genuine smile played across her face, though she was still looking a bit unsteady. She looked about for a moment, letting the smile drop to concern. “Kel? Kel where did you go?”

“Oh no, we are not doing this.” Objection ignored, Cyan craned her head to look for Kel.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Kel stared up into Cr’wean’s face as the ice went flying. The man was clearly furious. His eyes narrowed, blazing a cold fire to match the heat in Cr’wean’s gaze. He shifted to block the man’s access to Cyan. There was no way he was letting someone who looked like that anywhere near his friend, no matter what the man sai—

Something slammed into his torso, right below the ribs. Kel went down. He hit the ground properly, rolling back upright and swinging his head around to bring Cyan back into view. Cr’wean was crouched next to her, already starting to pick her up. Kel took a step forward, then pulled up short. There was no danger here. None. That much was clear from how relaxed Cyan was.

He watched her brother carry her off. Hoping she was going to be ok, he padded silently after. He drew to a halt in the doorway, standing against the left side. He started to take a step forward when Cyan called his name, opening his mouth to answer her. Then her head turned, just enough that he could see her face. He grinned again, the expression wide with relief. She was going to be fine.

[Shoki]

“Kel, sorry, I get like that sometimes…” Cyan started, and then paused. She didn’t know how to do this. She didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to lose a friend. That’s just who she was. However, she was pretty sure her brother might try to have him thrown out of the Aerie. It was a pretty big mess now, and she didn’t really know how to fix it. She could try talking.

“Could you, maybe, tell Cr’wean sorry? I know he looks mad, but he’s really very nice and he just wants to see me get better. He hates hurting people too, so if you said sorry for hurting him he’d say he was sorry too.”

“No. Listen, he just punched me while you were having an episode, I am not going to do anything but make sure you are okay and tell someone to keep an eye on him because this is not the first time he has been attacking people!” Cyan flinched at Cr’wean’s words, which surprised the healer somewhat. Cyan was used to his yelling, in fact she didn’t take it personally. Cyan herself was just thinking how bad it would be if her brother found out he had flipped her. She wasn’t going to lie, but she didn’t have to tell him everything if she felt he didn’t need to. “I’m not trying to yell at you Cyanee.” Cr’wean’s voice wasn’t as loud now, and he looked away.

“I know. I’m okay.” She could breathe easier, and it seemed better now. However, she was worried, and she didn’t know what to do.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Kel didn’t know what to do. Or say, for that matter. It wasn’t even like he could say Cr’wean was wrong. He did attack people, if they came up on him while he was distracted, especially if he was in the right mood.

Better try it.

“Cr’wean. I’m sorry. I thought you were going to… attack her.” His shoulders were slumped. He already knew where this was going to go. He was going to get banned from the Aerie, probably forbidden to interact with Cyan at all. To top it off, they’d probably take away his position as Artemis’ guard. Assuming Artemis didn’t do that for them, when she heard about this. That loss, of course, would displease his superiors and he did too much of that…

Kel swallowed. He couldn’t disappoint them, not like that. He owed them. He had to keep Cr’wean from reporting this. “I really am sorry.”

[Shoki]

Cr’wean scoffed. “I don’t hurt Cyanee. She’s my sister.” He was not going to just admit she was basically the reason he became a healer in the first place. He‘d heard his fair share of joking that Cr’wean should have been sent to the Weyr, and Cyan to the Aerie. He actually did like where he was at, not that he showed that off all the time. He looked critically down at Kel. Cyan caught the look and added in to Kel’s defense.

“See? He’s sorry. I think I freaked him out with my, uh… episode.” She didn’t want to say ‘attack’ right now. She needed time to sort all that out. “Please Cr’wean.” Her brother scowled. However, she just added quietly, “Please don’t tell.” One of the few people who would basically roll over when she asked him something. However, he was very protective, so it was a toss-up how he would react here. She tried to look appropriately sincere. Cr’wean scowled even more before making a frustrated noise. Stupid younger sisters.

“Fine, okay, I’m sorry for hitting you, and I accept your apology.” That felt like pulling teeth. “But if I see you in the Aerie without a reason or even hear that you have attacked anybody I am not going to hold back. And you,” He turned to Cyan, “Are going to stay away from him for a while and get some rest.”

“But-“

“Apparently we need to talk about your attacks again because this was a bad one. I can’t tell you who you can be friends with but I sure can tell you that I don’t want a repeat of this and will not have you having attacks around people that don’t know what to do.” He knew Cyan was old enough that he couldn’t really call their parents to enforce anything, so really he was just being protective. Being her healer and being her brother overlapped in some ways, but she was, unfortunately for him, an adult. Didn’t mean he couldn’t find excuses to keep an eye on K’rad though. “Got it?”

Cyanee looked sad, but mumbled, “Okay.” She could see Kel later. Maybe it would give her enough time to think about what he had said today.

[Ghost of Fire (Fëanáro)]

Kel answered Cr’wean with deep nod, accepting the restrictions. He didn’t bother arguing over Cyan being forbidden to be around him. It was about what he’d expected after all.

“See you, Cyan,” he said, trying to give her a smile. It only quivered a very little bit, and he turned away quickly, so she probably hadn’t seen it. He didn’t think her brother would be letting her see him any time soon, and while he, personally, wouldn’t object to going around that restriction if he really had to communicate with her, he respected Cr’wean’s authority in the matter.

See what I meant?

Don’t say it!

Why not?

Because you were right. Happy?

No. This is just the way the world is. I accept that. It does not make me happy.

Kel sighed as he trudged off down the hall. Might as well get some food and go meet up with Artemis early.